River of Busy

Good Morning, Father.

I have so much to do today...I need You. But if I'm truthful, I don't even want to be taking the time to pray right now. This is time I could be using to get something done. Time that could get me a little closer to the end of this ridiculous to-do list. There is so much, Father...and I'm overwhelmed. That's why, out of sheer will, I am making myself stop...slow down for just a moment...and focus on You.

I know its silly...the stress and anxiety I feel over these little tasks...little in the grand scheme of eternity anyway. Finishing a report, preparing for a meeting, analyzing another dataset doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world (to quote Bogey)...at least not when viewed from Eternity. And yet here I am...more or less multitasking while I pray...because I can barely stay focused on being in Your presence.

But thankfully...You understand Father. Your mercy is great...your forgiveness unquenchable. Not that this makes my preoccupation okay...but at least You are willing to meet me where I am...and maybe pull me closer to Yourself.

You are in control, Father. I know that...and am thankful for it. You are the Source...the Light...the Reason. I know that I am helpless without You....unable to take a single breath if You don't allow it. You can expand time and shrink it...You can multiply my simple loaves and fishes...You can (and DO)...meet every need. I have nothing to fear if I seek You first. I will miss out on nothing of value...I will find peace amidst the harried pace of life...I will have everything added unto me. I know all these things, Father. But sometimes life just pushes through what I "know" and overwhelms my mind (and body) and before I know it I am caught in a river of busy.

But I can get down this river...I can navigate these rapids...if I trust in You. And in order to trust in You...I need to know You...and to know You...I need to take time to be with You. And so I stop...and pray...and open my heart to You as best I can...knowing that You already know everything I am going to tell You...but that You want me to want to tell You. You want relationship...You want love. And beyond a doubt, I know that is what I want too.

Thank you, Father, for Your patience, Your goodness, Your love. Please go with me throughout the day...guiding me...whispering direction...reminding me of what truly matters. Bless all that I do and let me find favor wherever I go...not because I deserve it...but because I am Your child....not because of who I am, but because of whom I am in You.

Thank you for this time, Father....thank you for drawing me closer...even when I resist. Thank you for loving me too much to leave me to my own whims and devices. And Father, help me to carve out more time for You today...let me find and recognize those moments when I can simply talk to you. Help me to live not in the few moments I allow myself to retreat to Your presence, but help me to see that You are IN each moment...and that I can live in Your presence (and in fact I do)...if only I will slow down and open my eyes to see You.

Thank you, Father. Praise and honor be Yours, always and forever...in my heart...and in all of creation! Amen...and amen.

Driving Lessons

Father God,

I cut someone off today while driving to work. What's funny is that I was saying the Divine Mercy Chaplet as I did it. I'm sorry. I felt bad afterwards (still do)...despite the persistent echo in my mind that the driver had it coming. (He was speeding up deliberately so I couldn't get into the left lane to make my turn....I mean that's just mean, right?!) But then I could have slowed down. I didn't have to merge in front of him. But I was mad...and I wanted to prove a point...teach the driver a lesson. Of course that just only makes it more obvious that I am the one who needs the lesson. I'm sorry for being so silly, Father...so prideful. Here was an opportunity (small though it was) to humble myself. Here was a chance for me to discipline my flesh...to remind it (and me) that we are not number one. But I failed...and I'm sorry. Father, please be with that driver today. Wash away the anger and frustrated I know I caused him (and heard through my closed window after I cut him off). Let Your Spirit embrace him...move through him...and bring him Peace. And certainly, Father, if they don't know You...please reveal Yourself in a powerful way. And actually even if they do know You...draw them closer to You. We all need that. I know I do.

As for me, Father, please forgive me. And please continue to work in me...transforming me...making me more like the person You created me to be. Thank You for Your patience. Thank You for not abandoning me to myself. Give me the wisdom and strength in these moments...in all moments...to resist my selfish desires and to instead do what is right. Let Your Spirit whisper Your Will to me...always...that I may always know the right thing to do. I thank You for all You are doing in my life. I thank You for Your unending Love. You surround me with it...You make it and Yourself known to me in so many ways...and I thank You.

All honor and glory are Yours indeed, Father. Forever and always...

Amen.